Outside!

I faced a major inner battle this morning. One part of my brain wanted to comfort me and tried its damnedest to persuade me to stay in. The other part had forced me to don my Fitbit and ready myself for my first venture outside my front door in months...

I had planned to leave the house at 8am, to put an end to my burgeoning agoraphobia, but by 7.30am I could feel my willpower slipping, so to keep the upper hand, I dressed quickly and made my way out through the front door at earlier than anticipated.

My key in the front door lock

I can't say that it was an enjoyable walk, but it stopped the disappointment that would have plagued me all day had I persuaded myself out of the forced adventure. As you can see from the photographs I took, my mind was preoccupied with uncomfortable thoughts throughout the walk, even though I managed to keep socially distanced for its entire duration.

Reaching the end of my street and...

...meeting the main road

Negotiating my way into the woodland

Me in the world again

The magick was still in the countryside :)

Heading back into subrbia

Meandering onto the road to keep socially distanced

It was only a brief walk - a couple of streets and a short path through my neighbourhood woodland. My anxiety levels made me hyper-vigilant throughout, to a degree that stopped me enjoying the experience. And I can't really say that I feel any better after the walk than I did before it. I am still feeling edgy, as nervous about being in a world ridden with an invisible virus as ever. But these were just baby steps. And I WILL venture out again...